Memories Left Behind
Memories can often be precious and worth keeping somewhere that we can look back on after we leave.
On a day trip out with hubby one day, we passed a small town in the Borders of Scotland. I remarked that I had been there when I was young with my wee gran who I loved to the moon and back. The town has grown since then and I realised I could remember very little of why we were there or of who we were visiting. This left a feeling of emptiness. I could not recall anything enough that could have been a memory to share– it was all now a blur with vague thoughts in the passing. A memory was lost that could not be brought back.
I have thought about this often and of how many of us lose memories. We are often unable to share or remember stories about our parents and grandparents after they have died. Or even ourselves from our past. They all get caught up in the blur of life.
We are so busy getting on with life we do not see the things we do not leave behind.
As a Funeral and Family Celebrant and Deaconess, I visit families before the funerals of people who have died. Folk attending the meeting with me share stories, tales and memories and what they often think is the right story or fact on the person. Often they are right but there are sometimes parts of the person’s life which are blanks and blurs. Folk then feel a sadness like I did. They are unable to share or add parts to the Eulogy as they are simply not sure. The stories may have died with the person who had died.
I attended a meeting one day with a lovely man on his own who was so lost in his grief at loosing his wife, with no one else there to share anything. I could not share his precious wife that bit more. I could only go with what I had to work on. Chapters could have been shared on her life but were now lost to those who attended her funeral.
A lovely lady sat and spoke to me after a funeral one day and told me she could not sleep at night for worrying about her mum and dad and their arrangements. They had made none and she kept putting off talking to them to see what they wanted and needed for their day. I left her with a few ideas and suggestions on getting those arrangements set up in a way which could make things easier for them all.
Diaries and photo albums
Diaries were the in thing when I was young and were popular way before me. It was a big thing in Victorian times – no I am not that old!
People kept photo albums with dates added to pictures and often names. Many still do thankfully. In the land of technology, which is amazing we are putting more of these memories on Hard Drive, Cloud and on sticks. Often they sit in a cupboard or computer land and can get lost – I include myself in this may I say! Many pictures hold little information.
We have an elderly aunt in Residential Care now and staff gave us a folder to fill in on her life story. She had told us many stories which we can add to the wee book but we know there are many more we will miss as she had little to do with family for a long time. She does thankfully, have many, many pictures which have prompted family to remember parts of her life.
So, a wee idea has been brewing with me on this and a plan of action has been forming. A chance to create memories, to keep them going, have them on paper and an opportunity to have people get together and gather their ideas and plans in forming their life story.
Building on Memories
I shall be rolling out workshops in East Lothian and beyond – Life Story Workshops – we shall sit over a cuppa and some home baking in a relaxed atmosphere and bring together our life stories starting as far back as we can remember to present day.
If you would like to join these workshops I would be happy to see you there. If not then why not sit and have a think of your memories and what you want kept. Who you were and are and tales which I am sure others would love to hear of and read about in years to come. What schools did you go to, where was your first job, what do you love in life- all thoughts to begin with.
I shall be making up a Memory Book Document which I will share and you can use as a start – details are to follow.
Once you have started the ball rolling and added the beginning chapters of your life, this shall grow with you. You can start this at any age and add pictures along the way. This will not just bring back memories for you but of family and friends who can maybe laugh, have a sudden remembrance at being part of a tale or just enjoy reading your story – the story of your life- creating your memories.
Why not pick up your pen or get your tablet or laptop out and start your tale – memories are precious, we are precious, enjoy!
Come join me for a tea at a free event!
Your welcome to join me at one of the free events and we can all start sharing and creating our memories together!Or get in touch if you would like help to create your living eulogy.